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Positive

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This turn into a new year has been an interesting one for me. Normally, I’m in the middle of things choosing my “word” and vowing to eat a bit better and exercise more. But this year….no. None of that. I’ve come to the conclusion that what I really need to do is BE. Be who I am, be present with my children, be kind to myself, be with my husband, be my honest self with the people around me. I am enough as is. I don’t need to work on some new and improved version of myself. I can rest. I can relax and I can enjoy being who I am.
Truly, I’ve got plenty going on without adding marathon training, detoxing, challenges, etc to the mix. I’m getting ready to have my 4th child. I’ve decided that’s enough right there. Ha!
One thing I’m trying out was spurred by 2 incidents. One-my friend told me a few years back that she had come across her mother’s journal from 7th or 8th grade and how funny it was to read her thoughts. The other incident was getting a book for Christmas by a favorite author that was essentially a journal of her son’s first year-her first year as a mother. First, I cannot fathom my children ever reading some of my journals. That is stormy territory, reserved for my most brutally honest self-reflection and emotional upset. Second, I hated that book I got. It was awful. It was angry. It was depressing. I became very snappy and bitchy after reading for 2 days. My husband and children wondered what was wrong with me. So, this one thing I’m trying-writing in a brand new journal all of the positives, all of the good. I don’t want to fill it with frustrated, whiny, emotional junk. I want my children to be able to read it in 20 years and know how much I adored them and not be mortified that they’re reading it. I’ve realized that I’m at a place where I can continue to use journal writing as therapuetic, but in a positive format. I’m actually looking forward to it. it’s been a good couple of days. Reflecting on the good of the day, even if it’s just a couple lines.
So, there you have it-I’m going to be and I’m writing about positives. (Because otherwise I’d be writing every day about how much I hate heartburn and food)

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