Tag Archives: in between

The Waiting Game

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I am currently at the end of my 3rd pregnancy. I’m not being induced or having a scheduled c-section. What does that mean? It means I get to wait. Wait until it’s time. And waiting is harder than I realized. I’ve been impatient, tried to control the process, doing natural “induction” methods. But at the end of the day I get to wait until baby is ready. And I want him to come when ready, because it’s better for him. Living in the in-between is challenging. I know that he has to come  out at some point in the very near future, but I do not know which day that is. Will he come at night? In the morning? Will it be fast or slow? This waiting lesson applies to so much of life. There are so many things out of our control. And things we must wait for. How well do we wait? What does waiting bring out in us? Are we able to stay peaceful and sit in the middle of the unknown? Knowing that something will happen. Some days I wait better than others. Some days I am ok giving up control and just going with whatever my body is or isn’t doing. And some days I get so fed up and want to cry. Especially when I get asked repeatedly when the baby is coming. I don’t know-my belly is not a crystal ball and no one wants him out more than I do. Trust me. I am ready to be done with heartburn and insomnia. And yet at the same time I know he’s doing well inside and is thriving. But there comes a point when it’s no longer an adequate space for him. Living in constant expectation is a bit draining. So I keep cleaning the house (much to the delight of my husband). I don’t really know what else to do with myself. I think today I will get the girls outside and enjoy the spring weather. Maybe go buy some chicken feed and strawberry plants. Something. Anything to distract me 🙂 And then you will all hear from me when this sweet child makes an appearance.